who is this?

i am going to get out of the picture... the ugly one... i wish i was on a deserted island... i hope i am really out... what is the point ? everything just kept going to be square one.. i was hated.. i was forgotten i was like a idiot... who admire? who cares? who give a dam? who is there for me? who? well i know this answer will never change... who i care? who i bother? who do i wanna be friend with? who i treat well? who gives me this opportunity to show my colours in life?... who adore? .... i just wish to lie down on greeeeen pastures and leave this troubles behind... so rotten... ... drink was the word that kept me wanting... am i suppose to do that? i was suppose to be happy everyday ... every moment ... i was suppose to be like happy every moment! didn't i show that?... i just wanna be myself... how can i stop all this act in life? and do all the things i want? i want courage! i wasn't like that... where is the brave?childish?ugly as ever lady?confidence?determination?discipline?... all just left in a dream...
well too all the food i really wanted! ding tai feng... the smile food also... ice cream but i wanna cry eating it... y?... lift this sadness into the sky how i hope so........ i am just TOO STUPID!